Your REIGNING! DEFENDING! UNDISPUTED! 2022 USA Mullet Champion!
We got that business in the front, Hallelujah in the back! Ya feel me?
As the reigning champion of this contest, I do not take this lightly. In 2023 I have brought The Lord's Drapes back, longer and stronger than ever before. After garnering admiration and envy far and wide after the big win in 2022, I'm here to show everyone that this follicular fortress is the pinnacle of follicular finesse! We've never had a repeat winner in this contest and I'm here attempting just that.
"Ya can't have a 3-peat if you don't go back to back" - Clint Duncan

To my fellow competitors; Good luck, have fun, and may the shears be forever in your favor. BUT KNOW THIS: In this realm of mullet mastery there can only be one true champion!