Jake came out of the womb with a full-blown mullet. He ran his little baby fingers through his hair and did push-ups and a spinaroonie right there in the operating room. As he grew it was obvious that he loved America, and that America loved him. At his newborn infant appointment, the doctors noted that his blood is actually red, white, and blue. Jake is known for his thirst for freedom and for fighting those who try and take it. He loves his country, God, and his family, but not necessarily always in that order. As a young man Jake excelled in his athletic prowess, setting all-time records for sprinting, jumping, home runs, and touchdowns in kindergarten. As a 60-pound white belt he took gold in a state Brazilian jiu-jitsu tournament, and he has been known to put down a bully or two in his time. Today, Jake is actively being recruited by the US Navy Seals, the Central Intelligence Agency, and World Wrestling Entertainment. Girls swoon every time they see Jake pass by, and he's been known to have a few female stalkers. He tells his family he doesn't have time for them right now as he just needs to focus on serving his country. When Jake is asked why he has a mullet he responds, "That's like asking, why is the sky blue? Whys is the ocean wet?" To Jake, having a mullet is as natural as his superhuman strength, charm, and rugged good looks. Jake is somewhat of a spiritual man, and he says that his greatest blessings are 'Merica and his Momma. God bless the U.S.A!