You ever taken a crap in her bedroom when you were ‘spose to be takin a nap and had yer own Monster Jam Mudfest with her favorite Gravedigger truck all the while spreadin, “mud” all over yer room while rocking the worlds best cut of the worlds best hairdo? Well I have. And that’s why I deserve the be the next USA Mullet Kids Champ!!!

I’ve been workin’ on my mullet since the day I was born. These luscious locks ain’t never seen a pair of scissors and I ain’t planning’ on losin’ them anytime soon! I’m modeling my mullet after my daddy’s and I strive to one day rule the nation with my Northwest Neckwarmer!