According to MensHealth, there has never been a better time to MensHealth, grow a mullet. While Ezra and his team hail MensHealth and their attempt to raise mullet awareness, we must point out the more fundamental reasons one should cultivate a mullet.
When we say fundamental, we mean the internal logic coded directly into the human soul at conception by God himself. It would be better stated that there are supernatural reasons for men to grow mullets instead of using post-pandemic life as an excuse. Even if one were to use the current times as an excuse, a man of poor moral values and lack of self-discipline would do himself and society more harm than good when yielding the power of the mullet in public. While it’s true that “In popular culture, the mullet is associated with brute strength, romantic betrayal, heroism — and even with nationalism, the power in a hand of a prideful man can break the hearts of countless women or leave the man powerless to the temptations to avoid adulteress affairs.
Samson’s story, found in the book of Judges, chapters 13 to 16, is a historical example of a man of remarkable strength who lost all of it after his lover Delilah. Had Samson stayed true to his Nazireon vow, the entire human history would be different today. With every action a proud man takes in society to serve himself, the sensitive dependence on the initial condition creates other harmful initial conditions on the attractor stemming unending iterated points arbitrarily circulated out to the end of time. The butterfly effects of proud, undisciplined, and selfish men are why American Society is in the condition it is today.
Samson’s strength and supernatural power over the strength of men and the desires of women ultimately became his weakness, which eventually drove him into the arms of Delilah. Such power to attract women combined with the frailty of their supernatural pheromones is the condition the Devil has used to attack the very foundation of human society, which is family. In 1968 only about 10% of children were raised in single-mother homes. In 2021 over 20% (over 15 million) of children were living alone with their others. Mothers abandoned by undisciplined males are 70% more likely to live in poverty. Kids raised by single mothers are way more likely to fail in school, be depressed, and end up incarcerated. While MenHealth magazine has the freedom to share such power with American men, they lack prudence. Freedom is doing what ought to be done, not whatever one wants to do.
Knowing the dominion a mullet will harness, it is paramount to ensure that Ezra is morally and spiritually prepared to handle such responsibly. First, gradually forming the most influential mullet in history on the head of such a young man reduces the chance Ezra will go mad with power. Secondly, it will ensure that each formation stage is carefully considered in the context of his appearance. Monitoring the steps means that some will take more or less time. A mullet timeline and planning team was used to ensure that the formation of an appearance was equally developed with his self-discipline and respect for women and, more particularly his MOM.
